Late night donut fuck

1 Jan

I mentioned that my kids don’t see me smoke.  Tall Boy and Anime Boy have never even seen me smoke.  Little Girl  has but when she was too small to know what was going on.  A lot of people find this amazing and most likely untrue, but I swear on everything – it isvery, very true.

Since I don’t just light up in front of them, or ever smoke in the house, one of my most favorite smokes of the day is the one I have when all the kids are finally in bed for the night.  I sneak down the stairs and out the door and sit on the landing, pulling out my palmed cigarette  and sitting down and having that first drag.  Oooooh!  Perfection.  I used to know a girl, a sweet girl who had six kids all under the age of six who smoked only one cigarette and always at the same time as my favorite one.  As a young girl, I thought this was absurd and the lamest thing I have ever heard.  Now I admire her steal reserve.  I wish I could have that smoke.  I wish I had it right now.

But I know that I can’t.  One leads to two leads to a pack a day.

So tonight it was time for that cigarette.  And I was able to keep myself from it.
Unfortunately , I was not able to keep myself from the last glazed donut that had been sitting there cold and alone all day.  I only ended up 95 calories above my goal, and most of those daily calories were from fat and carbs.

Let’s hope for a better day tomorrow!


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